MIstakes: they're part of the learning process

Lately I've been feeling bored because all I've been making are flowers-- and I'm not even a girly-flower-wearing person. They're all made-to-order stuff made in different color schemes as my previous works and that just takes away the fun in making things. It's like running on auto-pilot, which is nice sometimes when you don't want to think about what you're doing, but I miss kinda miss the giddy feeling that makes my hands shake. Sure, these flowers brought attention to my page and what I do. I got some mileage from them especially when my lockets were featured in The polymer arts (right next to a piece by once of my all time favorite artists Kathleen Dustin. Color me STARSTRUCK!), and then I had several people asking me to make a tutorial about my flowers. I was a good ride, but you know what they say about good things.

I even took a pottery class (a future post, maybe?)  thinking it might turn on a magic switch in my brain and make me create like crazy in the studio. It didn't. It gave me a few ideas though and those Saturdays were fun and relaxing, but nothing jumped at me and told me: "You HAVE to make this with polymer clay!!" So while it was fun and while I was able to make some cool stuff I'm excited to use once they finish firing, I'm still stuck at a crossroads with polymer clay.

So after a couple  several weeks of just moping and hoping I would just bump into my old friend Inspiration while lying on the couch binging on chips and The Walking Dead, I decided to tackle that guild challenge I had coming up. I knew I've always wanted to try using power tools with clay, and I had one lying around just begging to be used, and I wanted to try paper cutting but with clay.. so I got of my butt and moseyed down to my table. I was genuinely excited, to be honest. I had my mask and my goggles/old pair of glasses and a cloth to cover my work area. I even posted a photo on my page just because I felt silly and even before I started I was having so much fun already.


Funny thing, though. When I posted this, a lot of people began commenting that I was going to create another masterpiece or that I must be up to something so out-of-this-world complicated and that they can't wait to see it. Well, first of all thank you for the ginormous boost to my confidence, but I must say that really put the pressure on me. I didn't even know what I was going to make, I just wanted to post a little BTS action. So there I was.. maybe I just got carried away and maybe set myself up for this because I made people expect something I wasn't ready to offer. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next was a series of events that (i'm being honest here, i'm not trying to reason my way out) that just left me with a few hours to finish this "masterpiece". It was a Saturday so I had my pottery class in the afternoon. Puppy duties in the am and we had to pick up my brother from school at around 5, picked up my parents afterwards did a grocery run and when i got home it was almost 8 pm and the puppies were begging to be let out. By the time I sat in front of my table it was close to 9 and the 12mn deadline slowly ticking its way closer. It was kreyzee! but I finished it, sort of, but I wasn't happy. At all. It failed soo many times. I made multiple mistakes because I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking because i didn't have enough time. I didn't have enough time because well.. I was too busy watching the Walking Dead. So perhaps this is a good time to say: Stop cramming! lol

Kidding aside, the point I want to make is this: It's not about getting your head out of the creative black hole, or creating a masterpiece. It's making something that makes your heart race and your hands shake while holding a buzzing power tool. It's smiling like a silly goose while covered in dust. It's going for something that pushes you to be brave and not care about results. It's okay to make mistakes because that's when you really learn. You don't learn anything when you approach something with surety because then your mind is set. If we want to learn and grow, we must make room for the boo-boo's and oh, shit's ;)                




Comments

Peachy Alvarez said…
I couldn't agree more on your post... Its true! But yeah, I too am guilty of cramming. I really hate it when I do that! :( I miss you!

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